Taming The Tongue

I attended an assembly with my fellow SFC brothers yesterday and it gave me guilt being there because I haven't been in the community's activities for quite sometime. My tito's welcomed me warmly though. We had a meaningful and merry evening. We had games (mind-bugling games, mind you!), unlocked puzzles and listened to a talk delivered by Tito Marlon. The talk actually struck me to death. It was about how we people use our tongue in all things and occasions. I started to realize that truly our tongue is one of the most powerful medium that we all have that can turn peace to war, can topple tyrants, can destroy people and the worst, kill! It stuck me to death for I have been so tactless since my conscience taught me the difference between right from wrong. I really hoped to share the time when we had had the chance to do so but conceit pushed me back to silence. That was the first time that I didn’t have the moment of saying what would I like to mean. Then I said, I should have said this and that. Normally, I am the person who says what I feel like saying, without considering anything that my tongue might harm. Normally, I am a servant of my tongue. Normally, my tongue commands me to say something what is not supposed to be said. Normally, things go along that way, and it is something that I have lived for.

But yesterday, normal things were not the same as they were supposed to be. Normal gestures of my tongue were unnoticed. That was the reason why the talk painfully struck me to death. It was silly but something told me that it was an achievement. I don't know. Maybe or maybe not.

There was this feeling of incapacitation in me knowing that I haven't said what I wanted but there was also this feeling of realization that I have done something I was supposed to do before. While I was listening to the talk, I had a lot of things in my mind. Thoughts that could irritate, chasten or embroil the whole thing. But nothing happened. Nothing really happened. And it was not what it has been.

The thought about TACT is a cliché for a person who has been to print media like me, or should I say has lived his life with other people. But I finally experienced how a person would feel to listen to a discussion about tact. It is really a moment that one would wish the floor would bury him to death. Words stabbed me so painfully. It reminded me of my mom and my friends who usually tell me how bad I am. It sucks but somehow, it is more than a wake up call for me to be reminded of something.

Yesterday's talk taught me things that I think I should be working on for. I know they are not that easy, but with God's grace, hopefully, I could---as a person and as an example for others.  

1.   Say what you have in mind only if you are asked to do so. A normal thought yet it is always taken for granted. And I think it is a credit to those who are modest, isn't it? I mean, we all have something to say in a topic but we too, at most situations, don't have the position to say so. We may have the most powerful thoughts but it doesn't mean that we have the fullest right to express them. I can hear myself saying, "I am not asking for your opinion". I know it is rude, extremely rude, but it is true. People just consider it rude because they are struck by the fact that they really are wrong of sharing something without being asked. Have water in your glass first before you drink it. Wear shoes before you walk. Get inside the room before you want to discuss something coz if you do outside, people will think that you probably are out of your mind.   

photo courtesy: Granger Community Online

2.   Back off and help. If you know that a house is being burnt, will you be out of your mind and get some things to light it up at worse? You wouldn't, would you? If you know that someone is being killed, will you help him get killed? If you see an old woman trip on the street, will you push him down and kick? Things are perennial and conventional. Same as gossiping and eavesdropping. We get worse things worst. We burn people's soul. We kill people's esteem and pride. We push people down to the gutter where we have fallen before. Backing off and helping afterwards will have things straightened out peacefully, I guess. These might just be words for me to say but I am certain that I have lived with the thought since I started working. Not for me to say though, but maybe it is for my friends to attest…somehow.

3.   Keep a secret that you think is worthy to keep, but don't keep something you alone don't own. If others own it, then share it not because you betray the person who shared it to you but because you are responsible for sharing it to those who are supposed to be knowledgeable of. As from the talk, to which I quote, " don't promise to keep a secret before someone says what it is nor afterwards". Keeping a secret is a responsibility. It is a vague thing to discuss but it is all about logical and emotional judgment. The reason why some call their friends traitor because the secrets they have shared to them were no longer secrets. But it doesn't have to be that way, as it was always perceived. Would you keep a secret that your friend's mother should know? If you do, then who are you betraying? So it is for you to decide whether or not the secret would be for the common good or you stay faithful to a friend who hasn't been faithful to the people around.
4.   Stay humble. Obviously, it is something that wraps it up. Being intelligent is appreciated, but humility is much loved. We are not humble but it counts if we try, at least. By using our hearts to outdo our minds. At times, we want to be even because we don't want people to call us lame. We want to show to all that we are brave enough to fight. In these trying times, we always want to be ahead of others. But then, if they prick you, why not try to be silent? If they try to make the worst of you, why not try to make the best of yourself by being patient? We hate people trying to let us down, so we should not let them down too I guess. Because if we do, then we should also hate ourselves. If we hate people stabbing us back, then we should not stab them too. Because we will end up stabbing ourselves.

While I was trying to have these thoughts written, one question always knocked me off my head.

     "Do I have the credibility to say so?"

And the answer that I always said…

     "Maybe I don't have. But I will, for sure..."