People feel frustrated because they expect people to have the image they want them to be.
Even our parents who had expected us to be better persons when we were still young, they cannot have the desirable image they want us to be. We are not dough that takes one's thumb to press to change its shape. Same thing happens to the people around us. They cannot expect us to be the person that could fit in to their lives. They cannot expect us to be someone for them to be satisfied. Unless, if we pretend and forget about ourselves, forget about who we are, live up to their expectations and make them happy—that would do perhaps.
I cannot help myself but remember George Clooney saying, ' our relationships to the people around us are the heaviest components of our lives'. Sad as it is, but true as you try to think of it. All our frustrations and problems come from the people around us. We try to make things up for them and we try to be the person they want us to be. We try to work for ourselves just for them to be happy for us. Then at the end of the day, you find yourself lying on your bed alone—EMPTY.
I am not complaining about having these people around us but I am not up to the thought of being controlled by these people’s expectations. There are some (not all) who expect others to be someone like them. I mean, some say ' Hey, I did these, so you should do the same'. Some say ' Hey, you should do this because I have done that already and you should give back something in return'.
We cannot just be like that, can we? If one has been good to you, then that does not mean that you have to be good for him to be happy. I am not also on the thought that one has to be bad, but the point would be “be yourself”. If you naturally are good, then it is a nice start. But if you are trying to be one just because the people expect you to be, hell no! We cannot afford seeing ourselves as mere marionettes, can we? I mean, you cannot wear a different shirt because you are afraid that he will not approve you wearing the shirt that you really like. And I guess no one would like to wear something not acceptable too. Please do not get me wrong if 'being good' is made as an example. Okay, being good is desirable but you cannot demand people to be the same just because you are like that. If you live your life comparing all the good things that you have done to those who you are expecting to do the same, you will end up disappointed and annoyed because you cannot let people drink the same cup of tea. People are different from each.
Instead of telling people that you have done something good and they have not, better be silent and be an example for others through your actions. Think of it by yourself and ponder on why it has been that way. I am not actually against the thought of doing good things on earth. I mean, who does? But that does not give someone the responsibility or the right to practically tell the whole world what he has done and let them do the same to him. Things will normally go smoothly as it is, so let us stop pushing doors.
If people cannot show you the same good things you have done to them, then it is not for you to tell them to show it. Remember that if you have done good things to others, you need not to COUNT. If they have not given back to you what you deserve, then leave and do it to the people who could give you what you think you deserve of having. Why can we not get rid of counting the things we have done to others? Lest we forget that if we do, we naturally are not generous and good but we are just trying to be one—winning people’s hearts, and pleasing them.
If things did not come out as what you have expected, then stop and start all over again—just do not cry over spilled milk and try hard to have the same milk be given back to you. For parents, if your children have not lived up to your expectations then do not nag and tell them your frustrations. Instead, ask them what they want for themselves and help them achieve it. If people have not been good to you, then look for someone who is. Or better yet, be who you really are and let yourself be a subject of other else’s guilt.
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